A journey

Let me take on a journey

A journey to my world through the last 2 weeks, the forging of this place.
Let yourself sink in, take some time and maybe even listen to lofi while reading this.

Setting first

A cloudy cold friday comes to an end, you come home from work as its get dark outside. You come home, step into your empty apartment you look into the kitchen seeing a few dishes that need cleaning.

You take you shoes off, put down you backpack while going over the day in your head vibing to instrumental music blasting out the headphones.

Here it comes

Right I should take them off or at least turn down the volume… As I take them off, you become more aware off your surroundings. Silence I walk towards the living room in total darkness as a lightning strike lights up the room, making all the shadow monsters go away.

I shiver as the darkness returns with all its monsters, heavy rain hits the windows I turn on the light look a round the room seeing my desk full with shit almost not useable. I go to sofa and sit on it thinking about what I wanna do, as you just recently learned a lot about devops even though you work as a devops engineer.

You just never learn enough, I keep thinking as I had an idea 6 months ago about a domain a vision for a place to be. A place where a community could form or just a place for people to stop by watching YouTube while not being tracked or heck even use TikTok thanks to ProxiTok.

I take open up the laptop, mindlessly you type in the password as it unlocks you feel a feeling coming to your mind. I I I don’t know what do I wanted to do? Right watch the data streams flowing through my cluster knowing I do something good in this cruel world. As I sit there staring at the grafana dashboard, a domain name comes to my mind TheKitty.zone

The bathroom

I let the name roam through my mind as I feel the urge to drink water. I get up walking to the bath room to drink tap water full on knowing that there is a mirror waiting to attack me with my monsters, as I enter the bath room a cold feeling over comes me.

You try not to give the mirror a look any attention at all, you just wanna get a few sips of water. Water flows in the sink I form a vessel with my hands, let it fill with water and then bring it to my mouth so I can drink the water. The cold water bites my throat as I drink it, you feel right at home with these little bites Then, then you accidentally look up right in the mirror. A shock fills me as the body I posses look right at me in the mirror, right and left you see the others.

The others

Not really bodies, I can only feel them. One the girl I want to be the other the selfless mind wanting nothing but making others feel good. The host, a boy body housing the wrong minds.

Back to the afternoon

I enter a staring battle, with every second passing inducing more and more pain until sadness fills me, her. I go back into the living room I grab the laptop, ready to make a bad decision in hindsight. So you make the decision that is gonna destroy you for the following days, something so painful you don’t know why I did it in the first place. Until the you feel the pain, you go on buying the a for mentioned domain and begin to setup external dns with it while migrating all services to it.

60 Minutes later the pain sets in from the bad decision… Fuck I really really want him back. The rain still going on while the thunderstorm seemed to have stopped So I lay there on the sofa crying after him

What do you do, what do you think
Nothing is forever but be sure to know what you need
As it can be over in seconds like this insight view into my head

The End