This prison of mine

You may know the game “This war of mine”, I took inspiration from the title for this one. This one is gonna be all the things that happened and how I feel trapped within, “you” refers to me throughout this read.

You know there is darkness within you, it lures around waiting to taint everything, you may not know it now but that one fan-fiction you read…. It caused the darkness to dwell and grow and then you all of the sudden have this trigger that just turns everything inside out, you or your perception of self just vanishes, darkness rises over you.

Then you find yourself doing whatever someone says to you, you don’t think you just do and then the darkness eats it consumes it destroys. Makes you do things you would never do, you try to fight but can’t all of the sudden you are the passenger….. Of course being a passenger, you are use to that because you are plural, thats normal, but everything else? Its not a headmate you can pin point, its like something fused and simultaneously broke away….

It lasted less than 2 minutes but you or rather this form of you, betrayed you, the persons around you… Tainted everything dark, destroyed, consumed and then you find yourself fully aware again…..

All thats in your head is FUCK FUCK FUCK? WHAT DO YOU DO? You explain but was it worth it? Probably sounded like excuses…. Get the fuck up OWN yourself, the darkness, you have to, you made the choice to do it.

FIX YOURSELF THE FUCK UP

This isn’t you or is it? You don’t know yet, all you feel is guilt, remorse but whats done you can’t fix.

You are the PREDATOR in this one.

Quiet words

I hope this was the last time I somehow actively went against all my believes as person, all my integrity went out the window but how? I never wanted this and yet it happened. Now I’m trapped in THIS PRISON OF MINE I call my psyche

I’m forever deeply sorry.

When light hits darkness, this is how it feels